More Rambling

I can't sleep. It is Friday, I am by myself in my apartment for reasons not my own, I am a little annoyed, but then I signed on to Yahoo and found messages from Adam from a week ago. That made me feel better. He was just saying hi and that he got my birthday pictures I sent him from when everyone was together on that Friday. At first I wasn't sure if I should send them or not because I didn't want him to feel left out but I also didn't want it to be like, Ha ha look what you missed, because three of his good friends were there (Silas, Mike and JD - and actually JD is his cousin, but anyway). Yeah, that's all I got for that.

My room is still a mess. However, it is not entirely my fault, as there are technically two people living in this room, and four people in the apartment, even though only three of us signed the lease. I don't mind Drake's stuff being here at all, he is my boyfriend and I love him dearly, but my room just gets messier faster when there are two of us throwing stuff on the floor or on the bookshelf, etc. I need a bigger room.

I really need to decide what I am doing this summer. I am seriously considering going back to Minnesota just so I don't have to pay rent anymore. I don't know. We'll see. I don't know where I would put any of my stuff, that is pretty much the only thing keeping me from moving home at all - my STUFF.

A few nights ago Teetz and I were going to Wal-Mart and he has the James Blunt cd and he played me a song that made me BAWL. But I love it.

"Goodbye My Lover"
James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

It is a very pretty song. I kinda like James Blunt, but sometimes I think he is trying to be Gavin, or at least be like Gavin, and it bugs me. NO ONE is better than Gavin and no one is better at being Gavin. Duh, that's a silly statement.

I think for my wedding - though I really should start saying "our" because "my" is so possessive of me, and it would be Drake's too, not just mine - I really want purple and silver and black to be the colors, though I am sure this will change many times and even Drake said I would change my mind most likely by the time this day actually comes. But I found the most gorgeous wedding dress - also in purple! I am not sure I would want to get married in anything but a white dress, but who knows, this purple one is so beautiful. Good thing I have a while to decide.